Saturday, 5 March 2011

Funny things, backs.

People say things they don't really think through the sense of, like "it is too cold to snow" or "he won't get there any faster by speeding".   Both of these statements are balderdash*, the Arctic and Antarctic both regularly see snow and we invented cars in order to speed past horses and get to places sooner.

Another thing people will say to you when you are suffering with a back injury is "funny things, backs".  NO.  Sorry did I shout, it's just that there is nothing humorous about backs at all.  They are amazing and when you have injured one you find all the things that you use your lower back for which you had no idea about, these include such mundane things as going to the toilet, sneezing, coughing and well pretty much everything.  I have been prescribed a number of drugs to assist the rehabilitation of the facet joint more recently identified in the post "injury" but a short lived attempt to walk briskly to the post office highlighted we are some way off.

Backs just aren't funny, I even googled to find jokes where backs are funny and they aren't.  They are the straight man, the Ernie Wise, the Tommy Cannon, Sid Little of body parts.  So please don't say "funny things, backs" unless you really do have a rip roaring tale of hilarity involving a back.

*Balderdash interestingly has no known etymology it is a word that exists on it's own, unlike poppycock, an alternative for senseless speech, which is derive from old german for "soft dung".  Please season your conversation and writing with this apparently original word.

Wednesday, 2 March 2011


I have been away and not updated I am sorry.  Now, don't laugh but I managed to inflame a facet joint (it's in your lower back ....the doctor said so) by tying a shoe lace.  Crazy eh?  Now I could cuff it and say that such a highly tuned athlete is susceptible to such injury but pretty much everyone I have told has said it is a sign of getting older.  I reject this wholeheartedly, why do we fall for this baloney about getting older being some excuse for injuries happening to us.  The truth is that I have for the last eighteen months neglected my body in terms of diet and exercise and now that I have started again a few of the nuts (no smut please) and bolts are loose and need tightening. Offending joint pictured below:

This however leaves me with a dilemna, because now the principle means of me losing weight is going to be diet which is a weaker suit.  I know the science of dieting and I can avoid many of the pitfalls but cake is nice!!!  As are crumpets, tea and toast and a host of other nibbly things.  So this week or so that I am taking to recover is an exercise in self control, which I guess is like any other muscle the more you exercise it the stronger it gets.....or so the theory goes.  This doesn't account for the fact we are living with my in laws at the moment and ma in law is a great cook and serial cake buyer, all well and good for her as a dog walker and for Mike the Bike with his 40 mile rides but for Mr Sleeping on the floor because bizarrely it is more comfortable this means temptation.  So in attempt to be accountable to someone.....I only have 2 followers, (neither averse to a bit of cake or a pint so perhaps unlikely to criticise) but I may as well blog about it or else I would get to talking about what is happening in Libya, or Bahrain or the Earthquake in NZ; and to be honest after years of working overseas in disaster zones and conflict zones I am now just a little quietly uninterested.  I think I may be going post colonial.

Anyways breakfast has consisted of:

1/2 sachet of Quaker oats porridge
1 pot of Activia Kiwi fruit youghurt
1 pint of tea (worng in so many ways probably)
1 small glass of apple juice

Salad is ready in the fridge with my own personally concocted salad dressing, ingredients are as follows

2 fl oz Extra virgin olive oil
1.5 fl oz balsamic vinegar
0.5 fl oz lime juice
1 tspn cayenne pepper
1 tspn black pepper
1 tspn mustard powder
1/4 tspn ground ginger
pinch of salt

It has a kick like a mule but if like me you find salad a little bland this baby will sort it out with a minimum of fuss, much better than these shop bought numbers. Anyway toodle pip for now.